Category: Parent Education & Awareness

“She Seems Fine” The Most Dangerous Phrase in Pakistani Parenting

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

What a 2016 American film reveals about the quiet crisis that Pakistani parents are trained not to see.

I was watching The Edge of Seventeen one evening, a 2016 American coming-of-age film that had been sitting in my watchlist far longer than I care to admit. About twenty minutes in, something clicked. Not in the way a good film entertains you. In the way a good film makes you sit up and think about someone you have not thought about in months.

I found myself thinking about a girl I had worked with two years ago. I will call her Aisha.

Aisha was seventeen, in her final year of school, and predicted strong grades. Her teachers described her as hardworking. Her parents used the words parents always use for teenagers who are not obviously struggling: “woh theek hai” (she is fine). She participated in class. She submitted her assignments on time. She smiled when she smiled at.

She was also falling apart, quietly, in a way that none of the adults around her had any language for including her.

By the time the film ended, I understood exactly why it had clicked.

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The Mirror in the Palm of Their Hand

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

What happens to a teenager’s identity when no one, not even their technology, ever disagrees with them?

I was running a session with a group of sixteen and seventeen-year-olds at a Karachi school last term. We were talking about AI, how it works, how they use it, and what they tell it. At some point, almost without thinking, I asked a question I hadn’t planned.

“How many of you have ever disagreed with your AI? Like, actually pushed back on something it said?”

Silence. A few uncertain looks around the room. Then, slowly, one hand.

“Sir, maine ek baar try kiya tha, but it just agreed with me anyway.” (Sir, I tried it once, but it just agreed with me anyway.)

The room laughed. I laughed too. But on the drive home, the less funny it seemed.

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The Loneliest Generation: Why Pakistani Teenagers Feel Alone in a Connected World

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

Being seen online is not the same as being known at home.

I remember sitting in a parent workshop in Karachi last year when a father raised his hand and said something I have not been able to forget.

“Sir, mera beta ghar mein rehte hue bhi ghar mein nahin hota.” (“Sir, my son lives in our home, but he is never really there.”)

He wasn’t talking about physical absence. His son was in the next room, phone in hand, surrounded by voices from a screen. The father hadn’t lost him to rebellion or bad company. He had lost him to something quieter. A distance with no name. A kind of presence that isn’t really there.

His son has hundreds of followers. He posts. He scrolls. He replies. But when was the last time anyone, including the people who love him most, asked him something real?

He has 847 followers. He came home from school today and didn’t speak to a single person he trusts. That’s not a connection. That’s performance.

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Is Your Teenager Dating an AI?

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

When emotional connection moves from home to a chatbot, what are we really missing at home?

A few weeks ago, a parent came to me after my class. She was not panicking. She was confused.

“Sir, mene mere bete ka phone check kiya toh usne kisi se ghanton baat ki thi. Phir pata chala… koi insaan hi nahin tha.” (Sir, I checked my son’s phone and saw he had been talking to someone for hours. Then I found out… it wasn’t a person at all.)

Her son, seventeen, O-Levels, quiet at home, had been spending two to three hours every evening in deep conversation with an AI chatbot. Not for homework. Not for any school project. He was sharing how lonely he felt. How he felt misunderstood. How he wished someone at home would ask him something other than “padhai kaisi chal rahi hai?” (How is your studying going?)

The chatbot had been listening.

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Not ‘Mazaaq’: Bullying & Cyberbullying in Pakistan, How It Hurts Our Students and What Schools Can Do Better

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

There’s a moment many teachers recognise. A student who used to raise their hand is now sitting quietly. A confident child begins asking, ‘May I go to the washroom?’ as soon as group work starts. Someone’s attendance slips from Monday to Wednesday, then a full week. When you finally ask, softly, ‘Kya masla hai?’ you often get the same answer: ‘Nothing, miss/sir. Bas… aise hi.’

In our schools across Pakistan, bullying rarely arrives as a clear headline. It shows up like a fog: small comments, private jokes, class WhatsApp groups, a nickname that becomes a label, a photo edited and shared, a voice note forwarded ‘for fun.’ The child keeps going to school, but something inside them stops feeling safe.

And that’s the real issue: bullying isn’t only about a bad moment. It’s about a student’s sense of safety, belonging, and izzat.

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Young Lives, Heavy Pressure: Listening to What Our Students Are Carrying

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

Trigger warning: this post discusses suicide and self-harm. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, contact local emergency services or a mental health helpline immediately. In Pakistan, national helplines and crisis support services are available to offer confidential support.

In recent months, we have seen a painful pattern repeating itself across Punjab: university students, bright, young people who should be building futures, are taking desperate steps or attempting to take their lives. These are not isolated tragedies; they are a mirror reflecting pressures that many families do not see clearly until it is too late. Recent reporting from Lahore and elsewhere has linked some of these incidents to academic pressure, failed relationships, and family conflicts, and universities and families alike are asking hard questions about what went wrong. (The Express Tribune, AAJ TV)

As a parent, it is natural to react with shock and guilt: ‘Kiya mein jaan sakta tha? Kiya mein pehlay qadam utha sakta tha? (Could I have known? Could I have acted sooner?) Those are painful but familiar questions. We also need to step back and look more critically at the systems surrounding our children, at what we ask of them, what schools expect, and how families respond when a child shows signs of pain. This is not about assigning blame to any single person. It’s about noticing patterns and changing them.

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Mental Health Is Not “Drama”: Why Does Even “Strong Bachay” Need Support

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

Understanding Stress, Anxiety & Burnout in Our Pakistani Children: A Quiet Moment, Many Parents Will Recognise

In many Pakistani homes, the value of strength is instilled from an early age.

Rona nahin – Don’t Cry
Strong bano – Be Strong
Sab theek ho jata hai – Everything will be fine

These words are usually said with love. Parents want their children to thrive in a challenging world. But sometimes, without realising it, these same words send another message: Your feelings are not important.

When a child says, I’m tired, and we reply, Yeh koi baat hoti hai?

When a teenager says, Mujh se aur nahin ho raha, and we say, Drama band karo.

That is where the silence begins.

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Career Confusion: Science, Commerce, Arts or “Bas jo mile”

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

Why teens feel lost about subject choices, fear disappointing parents, and struggle to see value beyond “doctor, engineer, CSS.”

Choosing subjects after middle school is one of those small crossroads that feels enormous when you’re living it, both for the child and the parents. In Pakistan, that crossroad often looks like a short menu: Science (pre-med/pre-engineering), Commerce (business/accounting), Arts (humanities/social sciences), or “Bas jo mile”, take whatever seat opens up. Why does a 14- or 15-year-old face such pressure and confusion? Let’s unpack the feelings behind the choices and offer a kind, practical way forward for parents and families.

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Teen Academic Burnout: A Growing Crisis We Can No Longer Ignore

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

I’ve been thinking a lot about the quiet exhaustion I often notice in teenagers today, the way their shoulders slump under the invisible weight of expectations, or how their eyes lose a little of their spark as exams approach. Sometimes, when I’m mentoring students or talking to parents, I find myself asking: When did learning become so heavy for our children?

In Pakistan, where grades are tied to prestige, opportunity, and sometimes even family honour, academic pressure doesn’t just sit in school bags; it follows students into their homes, their sleep, and their identities. And whether we admit it or not, teen academic burnout has slowly become a national concern.

What Exactly Is Teen Academic Burnout?

Academic burnout is more than just being “tired of studying.” Psychologists describe it as a state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion caused by long-term academic stress (Schaufeli et al., 2002).

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The Power of Deep Curiosity: Why We Fear Asking Questions

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

Questions are the fuel for learning, so why do we sometimes fear asking them?

Last week, during a class discussion on the history of pandemics, a parent joined my session to observe her child’s learning. I often welcome parents to sit in and experience how their children engage in inquiry and discussion.

After the discussion, one of my students raised his hand and asked, “Sir, in medieval times, people did cover their faces, so what made the virus spread so fast?” For many, this might have seemed like an “obvious” question. We had already discussed this point earlier in class, using COVID-19’s rapid spread in 2020 as a reference. But instead of focusing on the content, what caught my attention was the parents’ reaction, a subtle, sarcastic smile that everyone noticed, including the student who had asked.

I didn’t respond right away. Instead, I encouraged the class to answer collaboratively, allowing them to revisit their understanding and refine their explanations. Later, as the class ended, the parent thanked me for letting her observe the session. Before she left, I gently asked about her smile. She said, rather comfortably, that she thought the question had already been discussed and felt the student must not have been paying attention, in short, that it was a “stupid” question.

Her response made me pause. Was the student inattentive, or was he genuinely curious to make sense of something in his own way? Was his question really “stupid,” or was it simply a reflection of how he processes understanding? And more importantly, what message would I send if I dismissed such a question as unnecessary or foolish?

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