Category: Parenting Insights

“She Seems Fine” The Most Dangerous Phrase in Pakistani Parenting

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

What a 2016 American film reveals about the quiet crisis that Pakistani parents are trained not to see.

I was watching The Edge of Seventeen one evening, a 2016 American coming-of-age film that had been sitting in my watchlist far longer than I care to admit. About twenty minutes in, something clicked. Not in the way a good film entertains you. In the way a good film makes you sit up and think about someone you have not thought about in months.

I found myself thinking about a girl I had worked with two years ago. I will call her Aisha.

Aisha was seventeen, in her final year of school, and predicted strong grades. Her teachers described her as hardworking. Her parents used the words parents always use for teenagers who are not obviously struggling: “woh theek hai” (she is fine). She participated in class. She submitted her assignments on time. She smiled when she smiled at.

She was also falling apart, quietly, in a way that none of the adults around her had any language for including her.

By the time the film ended, I understood exactly why it had clicked.

Continue reading ““She Seems Fine” The Most Dangerous Phrase in Pakistani Parenting” →

The Loneliest Generation: Why Pakistani Teenagers Feel Alone in a Connected World

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

Being seen online is not the same as being known at home.

I remember sitting in a parent workshop in Karachi last year when a father raised his hand and said something I have not been able to forget.

“Sir, mera beta ghar mein rehte hue bhi ghar mein nahin hota.” (“Sir, my son lives in our home, but he is never really there.”)

He wasn’t talking about physical absence. His son was in the next room, phone in hand, surrounded by voices from a screen. The father hadn’t lost him to rebellion or bad company. He had lost him to something quieter. A distance with no name. A kind of presence that isn’t really there.

His son has hundreds of followers. He posts. He scrolls. He replies. But when was the last time anyone, including the people who love him most, asked him something real?

He has 847 followers. He came home from school today and didn’t speak to a single person he trusts. That’s not a connection. That’s performance.

Continue reading “The Loneliest Generation: Why Pakistani Teenagers Feel Alone in a Connected World” →

Homework in the Age of AI: Does It Still Make Sense?

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

Reflective classroom perspective + practical ways forward

In recent classroom visits and conversations with teachers I mentor, a pattern keeps emerging. Students in secondary classes are handing in homework that looks complete and correct. Yet when teachers try to discuss that homework in class the next day, many students struggle to explain what they actually understand.

At first glance, it seems like homework is working; notebooks look good, and assignments are done on time. But the deeper question is: Are students really learning?

Many students now admit that homework, which once took an hour, can be finished in minutes using AI tools on their phones. This pressure to “get work done fast” is creating a new classroom reality. Teachers are unsure how to respond. Parents are relieved homework is done, but can’t tell whether real learning is happening.

This situation has made me reflect deeply:
➡ If homework is getting completed but understanding is not growing, does traditional homework still serve its purpose in today’s secondary classrooms?

Continue reading “Homework in the Age of AI: Does It Still Make Sense?” →

Not ‘Mazaaq’: Bullying & Cyberbullying in Pakistan, How It Hurts Our Students and What Schools Can Do Better

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

There’s a moment many teachers recognise. A student who used to raise their hand is now sitting quietly. A confident child begins asking, ‘May I go to the washroom?’ as soon as group work starts. Someone’s attendance slips from Monday to Wednesday, then a full week. When you finally ask, softly, ‘Kya masla hai?’ you often get the same answer: ‘Nothing, miss/sir. Bas… aise hi.’

In our schools across Pakistan, bullying rarely arrives as a clear headline. It shows up like a fog: small comments, private jokes, class WhatsApp groups, a nickname that becomes a label, a photo edited and shared, a voice note forwarded ‘for fun.’ The child keeps going to school, but something inside them stops feeling safe.

And that’s the real issue: bullying isn’t only about a bad moment. It’s about a student’s sense of safety, belonging, and izzat.

Continue reading “Not ‘Mazaaq’: Bullying & Cyberbullying in Pakistan, How It Hurts Our Students and What Schools Can Do Better” →

Young Lives, Heavy Pressure: Listening to What Our Students Are Carrying

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

Trigger warning: this post discusses suicide and self-harm. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, contact local emergency services or a mental health helpline immediately. In Pakistan, national helplines and crisis support services are available to offer confidential support.

In recent months, we have seen a painful pattern repeating itself across Punjab: university students, bright, young people who should be building futures, are taking desperate steps or attempting to take their lives. These are not isolated tragedies; they are a mirror reflecting pressures that many families do not see clearly until it is too late. Recent reporting from Lahore and elsewhere has linked some of these incidents to academic pressure, failed relationships, and family conflicts, and universities and families alike are asking hard questions about what went wrong. (The Express Tribune, AAJ TV)

As a parent, it is natural to react with shock and guilt: ‘Kiya mein jaan sakta tha? Kiya mein pehlay qadam utha sakta tha? (Could I have known? Could I have acted sooner?) Those are painful but familiar questions. We also need to step back and look more critically at the systems surrounding our children, at what we ask of them, what schools expect, and how families respond when a child shows signs of pain. This is not about assigning blame to any single person. It’s about noticing patterns and changing them.

Continue reading “Young Lives, Heavy Pressure: Listening to What Our Students Are Carrying” →

Mental Health Is Not “Drama”: Why Does Even “Strong Bachay” Need Support

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

Understanding Stress, Anxiety & Burnout in Our Pakistani Children: A Quiet Moment, Many Parents Will Recognise

In many Pakistani homes, the value of strength is instilled from an early age.

Rona nahin – Don’t Cry
Strong bano – Be Strong
Sab theek ho jata hai – Everything will be fine

These words are usually said with love. Parents want their children to thrive in a challenging world. But sometimes, without realising it, these same words send another message: Your feelings are not important.

When a child says, I’m tired, and we reply, Yeh koi baat hoti hai?

When a teenager says, Mujh se aur nahin ho raha, and we say, Drama band karo.

That is where the silence begins.

Continue reading “Mental Health Is Not “Drama”: Why Does Even “Strong Bachay” Need Support” →

The Power of Deep Curiosity: Why We Fear Asking Questions

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

Questions are the fuel for learning, so why do we sometimes fear asking them?

Last week, during a class discussion on the history of pandemics, a parent joined my session to observe her child’s learning. I often welcome parents to sit in and experience how their children engage in inquiry and discussion.

After the discussion, one of my students raised his hand and asked, “Sir, in medieval times, people did cover their faces, so what made the virus spread so fast?” For many, this might have seemed like an “obvious” question. We had already discussed this point earlier in class, using COVID-19’s rapid spread in 2020 as a reference. But instead of focusing on the content, what caught my attention was the parents’ reaction, a subtle, sarcastic smile that everyone noticed, including the student who had asked.

I didn’t respond right away. Instead, I encouraged the class to answer collaboratively, allowing them to revisit their understanding and refine their explanations. Later, as the class ended, the parent thanked me for letting her observe the session. Before she left, I gently asked about her smile. She said, rather comfortably, that she thought the question had already been discussed and felt the student must not have been paying attention, in short, that it was a “stupid” question.

Her response made me pause. Was the student inattentive, or was he genuinely curious to make sense of something in his own way? Was his question really “stupid,” or was it simply a reflection of how he processes understanding? And more importantly, what message would I send if I dismissed such a question as unnecessary or foolish?

Continue reading “The Power of Deep Curiosity: Why We Fear Asking Questions” →

The Real Measure of a Quality Life — It’s Not What You Think

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

There comes a time in life when we must pause and ask ourselves: Are we truly living the life we want, or just the one we think we should live?

Yesterday, during a classroom discussion about what it means to live a “quality life,” one of my students curiously asked, “Sir, how can we know that we are living a quality life?” Before I could respond, another student confidently answered, “It’s simple! When we get rich and can buy everything we want, that means we’re living a quality life.” A third student immediately followed up, “So, does that mean being rich and having lots of money leads to a quality life?”

Their innocent but thought-provoking exchange left me reflecting deeply. If 12- and 13-year-olds are already anxious about what defines a good life, then as adults, do we ever stop to think about the same question? Have we limited our life goals to simply earning money and living comfortably? Or is there something beyond convenience, something that gives meaning to both our living and our dying?

Continue reading “The Real Measure of a Quality Life — It’s Not What You Think” →