What a 2016 American film reveals about the quiet crisis that Pakistani parents are trained not to see.
I was watching The Edge of Seventeen one evening, a 2016 American coming-of-age film that had been sitting in my watchlist far longer than I care to admit. About twenty minutes in, something clicked. Not in the way a good film entertains you. In the way a good film makes you sit up and think about someone you have not thought about in months.
I found myself thinking about a girl I had worked with two years ago. I will call her Aisha.
Aisha was seventeen, in her final year of school, and predicted strong grades. Her teachers described her as hardworking. Her parents used the words parents always use for teenagers who are not obviously struggling: “woh theek hai” (she is fine). She participated in class. She submitted her assignments on time. She smiled when she smiled at.
She was also falling apart, quietly, in a way that none of the adults around her had any language for including her.
By the time the film ended, I understood exactly why it had clicked.
Continue reading ““She Seems Fine” The Most Dangerous Phrase in Pakistani Parenting”