Category: Parenting Insights

Young Lives, Heavy Pressure: Listening to What Our Students Are Carrying

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

Trigger warning: this post discusses suicide and self-harm. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, contact local emergency services or a mental health helpline immediately. In Pakistan, national helplines and crisis support services are available to offer confidential support.

In recent months, we have seen a painful pattern repeating itself across Punjab: university students, bright, young people who should be building futures, are taking desperate steps or attempting to take their lives. These are not isolated tragedies; they are a mirror reflecting pressures that many families do not see clearly until it is too late. Recent reporting from Lahore and elsewhere has linked some of these incidents to academic pressure, failed relationships, and family conflicts, and universities and families alike are asking hard questions about what went wrong. (The Express Tribune, AAJ TV)

As a parent, it is natural to react with shock and guilt: ‘Kiya mein jaan sakta tha? Kiya mein pehlay qadam utha sakta tha? (Could I have known? Could I have acted sooner?) Those are painful but familiar questions. We also need to step back and look more critically at the systems surrounding our children, at what we ask of them, what schools expect, and how families respond when a child shows signs of pain. This is not about assigning blame to any single person. It’s about noticing patterns and changing them.

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Mental Health Is Not “Drama”: Why Does Even “Strong Bachay” Need Support

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

Understanding Stress, Anxiety & Burnout in Our Pakistani Children: A Quiet Moment, Many Parents Will Recognise

In many Pakistani homes, the value of strength is instilled from an early age.

Rona nahin – Don’t Cry
Strong bano – Be Strong
Sab theek ho jata hai – Everything will be fine

These words are usually said with love. Parents want their children to thrive in a challenging world. But sometimes, without realising it, these same words send another message: Your feelings are not important.

When a child says, I’m tired, and we reply, Yeh koi baat hoti hai?

When a teenager says, Mujh se aur nahin ho raha, and we say, Drama band karo.

That is where the silence begins.

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The Power of Deep Curiosity: Why We Fear Asking Questions

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

Questions are the fuel for learning, so why do we sometimes fear asking them?

Last week, during a class discussion on the history of pandemics, a parent joined my session to observe her child’s learning. I often welcome parents to sit in and experience how their children engage in inquiry and discussion.

After the discussion, one of my students raised his hand and asked, “Sir, in medieval times, people did cover their faces, so what made the virus spread so fast?” For many, this might have seemed like an “obvious” question. We had already discussed this point earlier in class, using COVID-19’s rapid spread in 2020 as a reference. But instead of focusing on the content, what caught my attention was the parents’ reaction, a subtle, sarcastic smile that everyone noticed, including the student who had asked.

I didn’t respond right away. Instead, I encouraged the class to answer collaboratively, allowing them to revisit their understanding and refine their explanations. Later, as the class ended, the parent thanked me for letting her observe the session. Before she left, I gently asked about her smile. She said, rather comfortably, that she thought the question had already been discussed and felt the student must not have been paying attention, in short, that it was a “stupid” question.

Her response made me pause. Was the student inattentive, or was he genuinely curious to make sense of something in his own way? Was his question really “stupid,” or was it simply a reflection of how he processes understanding? And more importantly, what message would I send if I dismissed such a question as unnecessary or foolish?

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The Real Measure of a Quality Life — It’s Not What You Think

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

There comes a time in life when we must pause and ask ourselves: Are we truly living the life we want, or just the one we think we should live?

Yesterday, during a classroom discussion about what it means to live a “quality life,” one of my students curiously asked, “Sir, how can we know that we are living a quality life?” Before I could respond, another student confidently answered, “It’s simple! When we get rich and can buy everything we want, that means we’re living a quality life.” A third student immediately followed up, “So, does that mean being rich and having lots of money leads to a quality life?”

Their innocent but thought-provoking exchange left me reflecting deeply. If 12- and 13-year-olds are already anxious about what defines a good life, then as adults, do we ever stop to think about the same question? Have we limited our life goals to simply earning money and living comfortably? Or is there something beyond convenience, something that gives meaning to both our living and our dying?

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