Category: Adolescent Development

Young Lives, Heavy Pressure: Listening to What Our Students Are Carrying

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

Trigger warning: this post discusses suicide and self-harm. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, contact local emergency services or a mental health helpline immediately. In Pakistan, national helplines and crisis support services are available to offer confidential support.

In recent months, we have seen a painful pattern repeating itself across Punjab: university students, bright, young people who should be building futures, are taking desperate steps or attempting to take their lives. These are not isolated tragedies; they are a mirror reflecting pressures that many families do not see clearly until it is too late. Recent reporting from Lahore and elsewhere has linked some of these incidents to academic pressure, failed relationships, and family conflicts, and universities and families alike are asking hard questions about what went wrong. (The Express Tribune, AAJ TV)

As a parent, it is natural to react with shock and guilt: ‘Kiya mein jaan sakta tha? Kiya mein pehlay qadam utha sakta tha? (Could I have known? Could I have acted sooner?) Those are painful but familiar questions. We also need to step back and look more critically at the systems surrounding our children, at what we ask of them, what schools expect, and how families respond when a child shows signs of pain. This is not about assigning blame to any single person. It’s about noticing patterns and changing them.

Continue reading “Young Lives, Heavy Pressure: Listening to What Our Students Are Carrying” →

Mental Health Is Not “Drama”: Why Does Even “Strong Bachay” Need Support

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

Understanding Stress, Anxiety & Burnout in Our Pakistani Children: A Quiet Moment, Many Parents Will Recognise

In many Pakistani homes, the value of strength is instilled from an early age.

Rona nahin – Don’t Cry
Strong bano – Be Strong
Sab theek ho jata hai – Everything will be fine

These words are usually said with love. Parents want their children to thrive in a challenging world. But sometimes, without realising it, these same words send another message: Your feelings are not important.

When a child says, I’m tired, and we reply, Yeh koi baat hoti hai?

When a teenager says, Mujh se aur nahin ho raha, and we say, Drama band karo.

That is where the silence begins.

Continue reading “Mental Health Is Not “Drama”: Why Does Even “Strong Bachay” Need Support” →

Career Confusion: Science, Commerce, Arts or “Bas jo mile”

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

Why teens feel lost about subject choices, fear disappointing parents, and struggle to see value beyond “doctor, engineer, CSS.”

Choosing subjects after middle school is one of those small crossroads that feels enormous when you’re living it, both for the child and the parents. In Pakistan, that crossroad often looks like a short menu: Science (pre-med/pre-engineering), Commerce (business/accounting), Arts (humanities/social sciences), or “Bas jo mile”, take whatever seat opens up. Why does a 14- or 15-year-old face such pressure and confusion? Let’s unpack the feelings behind the choices and offer a kind, practical way forward for parents and families.

Continue reading “Career Confusion: Science, Commerce, Arts or “Bas jo mile”” →

Why Do Teens Leave School? A Simple Reflection on Gender, Culture & Education in Pakistan

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

Every child deserves to learn with confidence, feel safe while travelling to school, and dream about a bright future. But for many teenagers in Pakistan, especially girls living in rural areas, staying in school becomes more challenging as they grow older. When a girl drops out, her education doesn’t just pause; her opportunities, independence, and future possibilities shrink with it.

In this reflective piece, I aim to explore why many adolescent girls drop out of school and how parents, teachers, and communities can collaborate to support their continued learning.

What the numbers show and what families feel

Research from the World Bank highlights that girls in rural Pakistan face the highest dropout rates due to poverty, early marriage, unsafe travel, and lack of school facilities. Challenges and Solutions for Girls’ Education in Pakistan.

Continue reading “Why Do Teens Leave School? A Simple Reflection on Gender, Culture & Education in Pakistan” →

Helping Teens Breathe: Supporting Adolescent Mental and Emotional Well-Being

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

I often find myself pausing at the school gates, watching groups of teenagers walk in, some laughing, some silent, some with headphones plugged in, all carrying invisible loads on their shoulders. As an educator and parent, I can’t help but wonder: What kind of world are they growing up in?

It’s a world that expects them to excel, to fit in, to stand out, and to do all of that gracefully, all before they even understand who they truly are.

In writing this reflection, I wanted to look beyond test scores and report cards, and into the hearts of adolescents navigating their mental and emotional worlds. Whether in the busy school corridors of Karachi or the diverse classrooms of London, many young people share the same quiet struggle balancing their dreams with the weight of expectations.

Continue reading “Helping Teens Breathe: Supporting Adolescent Mental and Emotional Well-Being” →

The Power of Deep Curiosity: Why We Fear Asking Questions

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

Questions are the fuel for learning, so why do we sometimes fear asking them?

Last week, during a class discussion on the history of pandemics, a parent joined my session to observe her child’s learning. I often welcome parents to sit in and experience how their children engage in inquiry and discussion.

After the discussion, one of my students raised his hand and asked, “Sir, in medieval times, people did cover their faces, so what made the virus spread so fast?” For many, this might have seemed like an “obvious” question. We had already discussed this point earlier in class, using COVID-19’s rapid spread in 2020 as a reference. But instead of focusing on the content, what caught my attention was the parents’ reaction, a subtle, sarcastic smile that everyone noticed, including the student who had asked.

I didn’t respond right away. Instead, I encouraged the class to answer collaboratively, allowing them to revisit their understanding and refine their explanations. Later, as the class ended, the parent thanked me for letting her observe the session. Before she left, I gently asked about her smile. She said, rather comfortably, that she thought the question had already been discussed and felt the student must not have been paying attention, in short, that it was a “stupid” question.

Her response made me pause. Was the student inattentive, or was he genuinely curious to make sense of something in his own way? Was his question really “stupid,” or was it simply a reflection of how he processes understanding? And more importantly, what message would I send if I dismissed such a question as unnecessary or foolish?

Continue reading “The Power of Deep Curiosity: Why We Fear Asking Questions” →

How Childhood Trauma Shapes Adult Life and What Parents Can Do to Help

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

Earlier today, I met one of my childhood friends after many years. As we laughed and reminisced about the mischievous adventures of our childhood gang, I was filled with warmth and nostalgia. Yet, amid this joy, a thought struck me that not all childhood memories bring happiness. For some, childhood is not a time of laughter and play, but of pain and fear.

A few weeks ago, during an educational camp I was conducting in the central region of Pakistan, a 19-year-old student shared his childhood experiences with me. His story reminded me how deeply early trauma can shape a person’s adult life. Childhood abuse, whether physical, sexual, or emotional, or even neglect by parents, can leave lasting scars. Children who are hurt by the very people they trust and love most often grow up feeling betrayed, wounded, and unworthy. If these emotional wounds remain unhealed, they silently seep into adulthood, affecting one’s self-image, relationships, and capacity to trust.

Continue reading “How Childhood Trauma Shapes Adult Life and What Parents Can Do to Help” →

The Real Measure of a Quality Life — It’s Not What You Think

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

There comes a time in life when we must pause and ask ourselves: Are we truly living the life we want, or just the one we think we should live?

Yesterday, during a classroom discussion about what it means to live a “quality life,” one of my students curiously asked, “Sir, how can we know that we are living a quality life?” Before I could respond, another student confidently answered, “It’s simple! When we get rich and can buy everything we want, that means we’re living a quality life.” A third student immediately followed up, “So, does that mean being rich and having lots of money leads to a quality life?”

Their innocent but thought-provoking exchange left me reflecting deeply. If 12- and 13-year-olds are already anxious about what defines a good life, then as adults, do we ever stop to think about the same question? Have we limited our life goals to simply earning money and living comfortably? Or is there something beyond convenience, something that gives meaning to both our living and our dying?

Continue reading “The Real Measure of a Quality Life — It’s Not What You Think” →

Why Family Involvement Matters for Teens

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

Last week, I sat down to watch The Blind Side again, the 2009 Hollywood film starring Sandra Bullock and Quinton Aaron. Though I’d seen it before, this time it struck me differently. Perhaps because, as a teacher and mentor working closely with teenagers, I’ve come to recognise just how fragile the teenage years can be and how much difference a caring family or even one caring adult can make.

The movie tells the true story of Michael Oher, who grew up facing poverty, neglect, and homelessness before becoming a star in the NFL. While it’s framed as a sports drama, I saw it less as a football story and more as a lesson on the importance of family involvement. As I watched Michael’s life unfold on screen, I couldn’t stop asking myself: What does family really mean for a teenager’s growth and development?

Continue reading “Why Family Involvement Matters for Teens” →

Why Do Children Need Encouragement to Become Original Thinkers?

Posted on by Ahmad Amirali

Researchers emphasise that originality is essential for children in all life fields, particularly in times of distress. Last week, a student waited after class and spontaneously asked, “Do I have a unique mind?” I paused before gently asking what prompted her question. She thoughtfully replied, “Sir, I think I am a good student,” rolling her eyes, “but do I have the kind of mind that can generate new and unique ideas? Or am I destined to spend my life listening to what other creative people say?” I reassured her, “There is no need to worry. Everyone feels this way sometimes. I even feel that my thoughts are copied occasionally, and that is perfectly normal. It does not diminish anyone’s value.” She smiled, and after further talk, we ended our meeting. This conversation, however, left me considering: Does originality truly matter when valuing ourselves or others?

Continue reading “Why Do Children Need Encouragement to Become Original Thinkers?” →