Understanding Stress, Anxiety & Burnout in Our Pakistani Children: A Quiet Moment, Many Parents Will Recognise
In many Pakistani homes, the value of strength is instilled from an early age.
Rona nahin – Don’t Cry
Strong bano – Be Strong
Sab theek ho jata hai – Everything will be fine
These words are usually said with love. Parents want their children to thrive in a challenging world. But sometimes, without realising it, these same words send another message: Your feelings are not important.
When a child says, I’m tired, and we reply, Yeh koi baat hoti hai?
When a teenager says, Mujh se aur nahin ho raha, and we say, Drama band karo.
That is where the silence begins.
Mental Health Is Not a Western Idea
Stress, anxiety, and burnout are not new. What is new is our language for them. Stress is a natural response to pressure exams, expectations, family responsibilities, and uncertainty about the future. A little stress can motivate a child. However, when stress becomes constant, with no space to rest, it begins to harm both body and mind.
Anxiety is not ‘overthinking’ or ‘negative attitude.’ It is when worry does not switch off even after reassurance. Sleep, focus, and confidence slowly suffer. Burnout is quieter. It often shows up in children who were once high-performing and responsible. They don’t complain. They shut down.
Global health organisations describe these as common emotional responses, especially in adolescents, not personal weaknesses. (World Health Organisation – Mental Health)
Picture this.
A 15-year-old comes home from school, drops his bag, and goes straight to his room. Dinner is ready, but he doesn’t come out.
The mother thinks: Aaj phir mobile pe laga hoga.
The father thinks: Parhai se bhaag raha hai.
No one asks how the day felt. What no one sees is the failed test, the class laughter, the teacher’s comment, ‘Tum se behtar ki umeed thi.’ The child managed to hold it together all day. By evening, he had nothing left. This is not drama. This is emotional overload.
Why Families Often Miss the Signs
In many Pakistani families, emotional pain is not treated as a ‘real’ issue. Physical illness is visible. Emotional stress is silent.
There is also fear:
- Log kya kahain ge?
- Agar aadat na ban jaye?
- Bachay kamzor na ho jayen
Research from Pakistan shows that stigma and lack of mental health awareness stop families from seeking help early, especially for adolescents. (Pakistan Journal of Psychiatry – Mental Health Stigma)
The Myth of the “Strong Bacha”
The children who struggle most are often the ones we label as strong.
- The eldest daughter, who never complains.
- The son who ‘handles everything’
- The topper who fears disappointing everyone.
They don’t create noise. They create silence. One parent once shared quietly: ‘Humain lagta hi nahin tha ke yeh bhi toot sakta hai’
Strength is not silence. Strength is knowing when to ask for support and feeling safe enough to do so. UNICEF notes that adolescents, especially boys, are often discouraged from expressing emotional distress, increasing long-term risk. (UNICEF – Adolescent Mental Health)
Small Signs That Deserve Attention
Mental health struggles rarely arrive suddenly. They whisper first.
Gently notice:
- Constant tiredness or irritability
- Sudden loss of interest in school or hobbies
- Sleep changes
- Frequent headaches or stomach aches
- Statements like ‘Koi faida nahin’ or ‘Mujh se nahin ho ga’
These are not attitude problems. These are signals.
What Children Need More Than Advice
Many teenagers say the same thing: ‘Please don’t fix it immediately. Just listen.’
Instead of: ‘Is ka bhi solution hota hai.’
Try: ‘Batao, sab se zyada mushkil kya lag raha hai?’
That one sentence can reopen a door closed for months.
What Support Actually Looks Like at Home
Support does not mean panic or overreaction.
It means:
- Predictable routines
- Reduced unnecessary pressure
- Partnership with teachers, not blame
- Professional help when struggles persist
The World Health Organisation stresses the role of families as the first protective system for adolescent mental health. (WHO – Adolescent Mental Health)
Changing The Language, Changing the Home
When emotions are labelled as ‘drama,’ children learn to hide. When emotions are treated as human, children learn to manage their own emotions. Mental health conversations do not weaken families. They build trust, resilience, and honesty.
Just as we teach children to care for their physical health, we must also teach them to care for their emotional well-being, including getting enough rest, expressing their feelings, setting boundaries, and asking for help.
A Final Pause for Parents
Your child does not need perfect parenting. They need presence.
- A parent who listens without judgment.
- A home where it is safe to say, ‘Mujh se mushkil ho rahi hai.’
- A family that understands emotional pain is not failure, it is a signal.
Mental health is not drama. It is life asking to be understood.
Tonight, try one small step: Ask your child, ‘Aaj ka din kaisa guzra?’ Then listen. Just listen. Sometimes, that is enough to start the healing process.