The Role of Parents in Keeping Their Child Digitally Safe and Secure
Yesterday, I received a call from one of my students’ mothers. Her question was simple yet deeply significant: “Should I allow my 15-year-old to have a cellphone?” She explained her concerns that teenagers often spend all their free time glued to their screens, and worse, that her child might stumble upon inappropriate or harmful content online. Her voice carried both love and fear — emotions every parent today can relate to.
In today’s digital world, these concerns are not exaggerated. Children have easy access to thousands of websites and social media platforms. Whether through smartphones, tablets, or laptops, the internet is now deeply intertwined with how they learn, communicate, and express themselves, especially after the pandemic’s shift toward virtual learning.
But this brings an important question for every parent: How can we keep our children safe online without breaching their privacy and trust?
As an educator who interacts with teenagers daily, I often see parents struggling between two extremes — complete surveillance and total freedom. Both approaches can have unintended consequences. Constant monitoring can harm the bond of trust, while total digital freedom can expose children to risks like cyberbullying, explicit content, and online predators. The key lies in balance, guiding children toward responsible digital behaviour while respecting their growing independence.
Understanding the Digital Dilemma
The internet can be both a teacher and a trap. It offers immense opportunities for learning and creativity, but it can also become a source of addiction, misinformation, or exposure to harmful behaviours.
Parents today face a new kind of parenting challenge — one that previous generations never had to confront. You can’t possibly monitor every online move your child makes. Yet, you can still create an environment of awareness, communication, and digital responsibility. Here are a few reflective steps to help you strike that balance.
1. Use Digital Monitoring Tools — Wisely
Technology can be both the problem and the solution. Parental control apps help create a safer digital space without becoming overly intrusive. According to PC Mag, parental control services can help parents manage the increasing number of devices their children use. These tools allow you to block unwanted content, limit screen time, and restrict risky apps (PC Mag, 2025).
Here are PC Mag’s top 7 parental control apps:
- Bark
- Boomerang
- Family Time
- Mobicip
- Norton Family
- Qustodio
- Net Nanny
Prices range from about $0 to $22 per month, depending on your household’s needs.
However, the most important part isn’t the software — it’s the conversation before installing it.
Explain to your child that these tools are not meant to spy but to protect. When children feel included in the process, they are more likely to cooperate and trust your intentions.
2. Connect Before You Correct
Monitoring alone is not enough; connection matters more than control.
Nancy J. Kislin, a therapist and educator, reminds us that parents need to talk to their children about sensitive online topics — from pornography and sexting to hate speech and digital ethics in a way that respects privacy and builds trust (Psychology Today).
Here are a few of Kislin’s suggestions, adapted for everyday family use:
- Get curious. Ask your child what they watch, follow, or read online — not as an interrogation, but as genuine curiosity.
- Keep communication open. Even if it feels awkward, let your child know that you’re willing to listen without judgment.
- Set boundaries, not punishments. For instance, make it a rule that all devices stay out of bedrooms during sleep hours. (As Kislin humorously says, “Nothing good happens when teens are FaceTiming at 3 a.m. in the dark.”)
- Talk about respect and consent. Discuss how to respond to inappropriate messages or peer pressure. Practice conversations like: “I don’t feel comfortable with that,” or “I’d rather not share this online.”
- Share your own experiences. Tell them how you felt when someone crossed a line with you. Your vulnerability shows that these issues are human, not just “rules.”
- Avoid shaming. Instead of blaming them for mistakes, discuss what can be learned. Emphasise empathy, respect, and consent.
When parents create a safe space for dialogue, children learn to self-regulate. They become more likely to tell you about something disturbing they’ve seen online rather than hide it out of fear.
3. Reflect, Don’t React
It’s natural to panic when you discover your child viewing something inappropriate or following questionable trends. But before reacting harshly, take a deep breath and reflect:
- What might your child be trying to explore or understand?
- Is this behaviour about curiosity, peer influence, or emotional need?
Children don’t always know how to handle what they see online. They need guidance, not guilt. Think of this as an opportunity to teach discernment, helping them differentiate between healthy curiosity and harmful exposure.
4. Build Digital Trust Together
Trust doesn’t come from rules, it comes from a relationship.
When your child feels that you respect their privacy, they are more likely to seek your help when something goes wrong. Instead of saying, “Show me your phone,” try, “Let’s talk about what you’ve been watching lately. I’m curious about what’s popular right now.”
Encourage transparency in small ways:
- Ask them to show you their favourite YouTube channels or TikTok creators.
- Watch a few clips together and discuss what you both think.
- Ask reflective questions like, “Do you think this is real?” or “What message is this video giving?”
These conversations not only build critical thinking but also strengthen emotional connection — something every teenager deeply needs.
5. Keep Learning as a Parent
Digital parenting is not about having all the answers — it’s about being willing to learn alongside your child.
Explore websites, attend digital safety webinars, or read updated guides on online security. Organisations like Common Sense Media and Internet Matters provide great resources for parents to stay informed. Remember, the goal isn’t to control your child’s digital world it’s to equip them to navigate it wisely.
A Reflective Closing
As parents, it’s natural to want to shield our children from every danger — digital or otherwise. But our ultimate goal should be to raise responsible digital citizens who can make safe and ethical choices, even when we’re not watching.
So, the next time you worry about what your child might be browsing, pause and ask yourself: “Am I guiding them through fear — or through trust?”
Open conversations, gentle guidance, and shared digital experiences can transform fear into confidence — for both you and your child.
Because digital safety doesn’t begin with a password. It begins with a parent who listens.
Good luck, and remember — your presence, patience, and perspective are your child’s best protection.